Friday, April 29, 2005
Awwww. If this warms your cockles, one must wonder at your cockles.
Rumi, the Sufi mystical poet, wrote of spiritual joy enrapturing women and filling them to bursting, so much so that they invited neighborhood puppies to nurse. I thought that was a metaphor, made profound by its ridiculosity (It's my blog and I'll make up words if I want to).
But I ask you. Does this woman look filled with exuberant joy? Or does she look rather put upon and weary from nursing her own child and kittens as well? Good night.
Clever Marketing Ploy.
How much do you suppose the Brillo company paid Phillip Treacle to feature their product so prominently on one of his haute couture hats? Phillip Treacle is much-loved by the upper crust in England for his flights of fancy that perch atop one's skull. In fact, he designed Camilla's chapeau for her recent wedding to that wacky chap Chas.
As an ugly American who recently visited Britain, I noted how uniformly conservative most people dressed. Albeit, we were in rural Yorkshire for the most part, but even in York, you didn't see as much personal expression as is fairly common here, even in the Midwest.
That said, explain to me these fantasmagoric hats Englishwomen are so fond of? They are independent of gravity, reminding one of a flock of seaguls taking flight as they are chased by a pack of rabid sheepdogs.
Does it make you want to scrub pots with your head? Me too.
Subject: Hi Dr.!
Hi, I am medical and I am wondering why the stomach secretes acid. Can you help?
My dear Lisa,
I am sorry to report that stomachs do not secrete acid, rather they secret (no "e") it. Stomachs are very shy, and they secret away many, many things. Explore the hidden folds and cul de sacs of any stomach, and you'll be surprised at what it's been hiding from you. Acid, yes, but also tinfoil balls and shopping lists, romantic candles and remote controls.
I suggest you try typing more carefully next time. And check your teeth ... what is that, a poppyseed?
With insurmountable fondness,
As reported in Haggis-On-Whey. I kid you not.